Tag: addiction

A Drink is a Drug is a Whole Pan of Brownies

If I stop using drugs, can I still drink?

Although I identify as an alcoholic, for several years marijuana was my first drug of choice – until it stopped working for me. All of a sudden, smoking pot made me paranoid and miserable. This was when I learned to drink alcohol. And, alcohol was what brought me to my knees.

Throughout my years in recovery, I have watched people get sober and work to identify the driving factors behind their alcohol or drug addiction, only to see them relapse after a while. I went through this myself.

I got sober but suffered from deep depression and debilitating anxiety. I was honest with my Doctor about being an alcoholic in recovery. My Doctor put me on an antidepressant and a Benzedrine for anxiety. I was feeling better but began to misinterpret normal anxiety about a given situation in life and anxiety that was abnormal. I was used to numbing my feelings, used to not feeling much of anything.

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Control the addiction

The horse was uneasy and had given his handler every sign that he was upset. The big gray gelding had tried to pull away, tried to bite, and finally, reared up on his hind legs and thrust his front legs forward, connecting his front hooves with his handler, one hoof landing square in the middle of his chest, the other on his shoulder. The handler cried out in pain as he tumbled to the ground, the horse stepping on his left arm as he landed. The handler let go of the lead rope as he grasped his arm and chest in agony. The big gray horse took off running, his black mane and tail flowing freely behind him. There was no catching him now. He had quickly found his stride and was eagerly distancing himself from the man that had caused his panic. He was free of the negativity shown by his handler and was heading straight to his place of comfort – his paddock on the other side of the ranch.

It has been said that animals are a good judge of character. Many people have stated that they do not trust someone their dog doesn’t like. In this particular instance, the horse was showing good instinct and protecting himself. Animals, especially horses, have an uncanny knack for sensing when something is off. If a person is angry or upset, the horse will pick up on that energy and respond accordingly. If a person is nervous, again, the horse will pick up on that energy and begin to act nervous. And in the case of the big gray gelding, he was responding to the tumultuous emotions raging through his handler, a horseman that is a professional farrier by trade, who was displaying erratic emotions brought on by an evening spent doing meth and drinking alcohol until the sun shown in the sky and it was time to start a new day trimming horses.

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